Grandpa SeeSaw

My husband had two sets of grandparents growing up-Grandma and Grandpa V. and Grandma and Grandpa SeeSaw. I was fortunate enough to get to know Grandma V and Grandma and Grandpa SeeSaw. It's pretty lucky to be able to gather memories with your spouse's grandparents. Grandma V lived in Scottsburg for awhile and I remember going to her house before prom Junior year and doing the whole picture thing. Lots of good memories with Grandma and Grandpa SeeSaw, like going to the Cubs game with the Etherington side of the family and Grandma SeeSaw's 80th birthday at the Indianapolis Cabaret Theater. It was a "Black and White Affair" featuring the music of Stevie Wonder and Elton John. I had the worst hangover of my life (it was the day after the Buening-Kurtz wedding) but had so much fun with Jared's fun family.

The phone rang right befor 6 am last Friday and we knew it wasn't good. Jared's dad asked for Jared, I heard Jared mumbling and saying he'll be there. Grandpa SeeSaw (Hank) passed away in his sleep. We knew the day would come when a loved one would pass away, but this kind of took us by surprise. We tried to hard to get the three of us home but it just.did.not.work. It was the first time that I realized the distance. Technology fools us, but technology can't do a thing about finding three empty seats on a transpacific flight on Memorial Day weekend. I found a route for Jared that wasn't selling overbooked seats (pet peeve, but that's business) and he was Stateside bound Sunday morning. As luck would have it, it was a horrible flight to Chicago (he had the window seat on the back row, which had a box underneath it, and being the back row the seat wouldn't recline) and his flight to Louisville was canceled. He made it home, though. He made it to celebrate his grandfather's life.

Hank was a very peaceful, generous man. He was so kind to me in welcoming me into his family. From what has been shared with me the celebration of his life was lovely, just like him. I am so thankful that Jared made it home. I am so thankful that Finn got to meet his great-grandfather and that his great grandfather got to meet his great grandson. I am thankful to have the family that I have.

I ain't readin' that

When I type this I think of some of my kiddos from my first year teaching in Charlestown and Scottsburg. I now empathize with them because sometimes I flat out refuse to read books that people tell me I need to read!

When I am Queen of the world (nothing I have ever desired for, but the phrase just works for this) parents of preemies will not have copies of "What to Expect" or the like. It's frustrating to determine your child's exact age (actual or gestational) and then compare developmental milestones to the age. I'm over it.

I'm thankful to be raising my first (and hopefully not only) child in a different country and continent because it is expanding my view. "Well, duh!" you may say, stating the obvious. The Japanese (Okinawan) approach to infancy is very similar to the American, but also different. Kids are exposed to barley tea and peach water, the emphasis on breastfeeding is different than in the States and car seats are suggested. In Japan kids walk to school on their own when they are 5-that is not dreamed of in the majority of the States.

My kid is healthy and happy. I had a bum placenta that caused him to be born in June instead of August. He smiles, he babbles, he loves other kids and he's being breastfed until he is 12 months old. He doesn't do everything according the week of his actual OR gestational age-he's already done some of them, still waiting on others. I don't read to him enough. He's not enrolled in Gymboree classes or in a play group (which, btw, are not made for working mothers here on the island of Okinawa). We provide him with a loving, safe environment. We talk though our days with him, we play with him and go for walks on the two days it doesn't rain. We laugh and play together. We also let him play on his own. We really don't know many people with a kid our age here, but he loves our babysitter's six year old granddaughter (who taught him to whistle among many other things). We feed him organic yogurt but he also gets the Gerber in the plastic container too. I think too many people try to do everything perfect and "by the books" and I'm at a stage where I ask why. My Grandmother had six children, my great grandmother ten. They didn't have books-they had common sense. I'm comfortable enough as a new mother to realize that I need to depend on my common sense (and my mom and co-workers who are experienced mothers). Dr. So and So probably has wonderful points and maybe at another stage of life I'll follow his book to a "T", but for now my son and I are following good old common sense.